Posts Tagged ‘why?’

My website. Is gone.  Literally gone.

Well, not exactly literally. The URL still exists and I still own it.  But all of its content? Gone.  All of my fantastic…scratch that, marginally acceptable web design? Gone.

Every “Complaining with Kay” podcast? GONE.

I have offline archives of Complaining with Kay from about Episode 40 on, but not much before that, mostly due to storage concerns.  GAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So to recap, it’s miserable and rainy outside, I had three fillings and multiple other bits of dental work done this afternoon, and now my website has poofed out of existence.  This is officially the most frustrating day ever.

AND YES I KNOW I should have backed it up, but I didn’t and unless this is some weird server error that can be fixed I have to rebuild the whole thing.  But thank you, Imaginary Internet Know-It-All.  I think it can be said to have been established that I don’t always act in the most foresight-y manner.

Well, at least my email is still there.  Though I think I’ll export all of that just to be sure.  I’ve put up a temp “UNDER CONSTRUCTION!” page with my email and other links on it, so at least people looking for lessons won’t be like “Ok then,” and go somewhere else.

Anyway.  I need a drink.


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I was going to insert a crazy G20 protest image here, but there are too many to choose from. Just search #G20 or #g20report on Twitter and insert your own.

Steve Paikin is not a radical.

The host of a political/current events show on TVO, Canada’s yuppiest public station, Paikin is an establishment centrist who attends protests in a seemingly anthropological way. I stood next to him and a woman who may have been Belinda Stronach at the Canadians Against Prorogueing Parliament rally – see my video, Going Prorogue, here:

He looks a bit freaked out. Possibly by me. Who knows? Anyway, the point is: Steve Paikin isn’t anti-establishment. He isn’t pro-establishment. He IS the establishment.

So when you find him saying something like this:

I have reported from war zones in Bosnia, Croatia, Serbia, Lebanon, and Israel.

But last night’s confrontation between peaceful demonstrators and riot squad police was the scariest situation I’ve ever been in, in almost 30 years of reporting.

then something really fucked up is going on.

We missed the protests because we were out of town, and I probably wouldn’t have gone anyway, because I am not eager to be tear gassed and randomly arrested.

Three of Ben’s friends – one lawyer and two bike couriers – were arrested for no reason and held overnight. Someone I know was arrested, too. She happens to work for the Globe and Mail.

I don’t know Lisan well – she’s a friend of a friend – but I’ve met her on numerous occasions and I very much doubt she was out there with a black kerchief on her face setting cop cars on fire. She was there as a journalist covering the freakin’ story, and she got arrested along with a bunch of peaceful protestors and innocent bystanders.

Do you remember how I said – just a few days ago – that this security buildup wasn’t about safety? That it was about dick-waving and theatre and making people feel scared so you can take away their rights and “protect” them?

Think I was right?

I, like Steve Paikin, am quite shaken up by this. I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty realistic person. Not a cynic, not a romantic, but one with a decent grasp on reality. I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong, and the world I live in isn’t the one I think it is.

I thought that I lived in a democracy with a good record on human rights. I thought I lived in a country that guaranteed civil rights for all. I thought that I could protest or otherwise engage in political action without fear of spending the night handcuffed in a makeshift jail or getting driven out to the suburbs and left there. I thought that I lived in a country that respected journalism as vital to democracy and civil society. I thought I lived in a country of more or less reasonable and sane people.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

If you are against police state tactics, beating and arresting journalists, and arresting people who have done nothing but exercise their political and free speech rights, I suggest you join me in protesting at Toronto Police Headquarters (40 College) today at 5:30. I’ll be a bit late – I have to teach until 6.

In the meantime I think I’ll go home and cry a bit.

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A word of advice to EEE users: If you’re in Advanced Desktop Mode, DO NOT upgrade all packages in Synaptic. (I know, if you don’t use an eee or some Linux system only 25% of the words in that sentence mean anything. I know.) Because it will cause your eee to go into a boot loop which you do not have sufficient knowledge to fix, even with a free morning and lots of googling, and you will have to restore your computer to factory settings and lose all the emails you’ve received in the past six weeks, including ones with audition dates and bookers’ emails and reference letters in them.

Because I really, really should have known better, this being about the 4th time I’ve done this exact thing, I’m not that pissed off. And my inbox was getting awfully full and unwieldly anyway, and I don’t need any reference letters right now. And the only audition I have coming up is on February 4. And I have that booker’s email address written down somewhere else.

And to stop this from happening in the future, I have acquired a copy of “Linux for Dummies” and am thinking of taking a Linux class, because obviously I am not to be trusted with root access without some more training.

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After another unsuccessful audition yesterday, I spent all of today doing nothing. Nooooooothing. Nothing.

Literally, this is what I did today.
9 – Got up, made coffee and muffins. Moped.
11 – Recorded and edited my podcast.
12 – Grocery shopping. Grocery store resembles a zoo. Why, if I don’t have a traditional day job, do I always end up in the grocery store on weekends? Little old lady tries to get ahead of me in line. I defeat her the Canadian way: by pointedly ignoring her and standing very very close to the cart ahead of me.
1 – Had lunch. Moped.
1:30 – 3 – Read old comment threads on blogs I like.
3 – 5 – Attempted to install Unetbootin on my eee so I could create a bootable usb drive on it.
5 – Fed dogs.
5 – 6 – Gave up on eee, attempted to make bootable usb on the Mac again.
6 – Gave up. Tried to boot eee again and realized I’d messed up something vital once more and it’s having seizures.
6 -7 – Moped.
7 – 8 – Bath. Moped while in the bath.
8 – Restored eee to factory settings. Started blogging….

And here we are. I was going to say that for having done nothing all day I certainly don’t feel very relaxed, but looking back on it I actually did a bunch of frustrating stuff. True, I didn’t accomplish anything, other than buying potatoes and dried beans, but I was certainly doing stuff for at least 25% of the day.

I feel vaguely out of sorts, a bit stuffy, a bit achy in the shoulders, a bit dissatisfied with my lot in life. Is this what it’s like to have a real job where you do pointless and frustrating things on a computer all day while wishing for things that are just out of reach?

If it is, I certainly understand why people get depression and headaches and lower back pain. The symptoms of life my ass. Maybe we should call them “the symptoms of a wasted life”. Seems more accurate.

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Coming soon to a theatre near you: A race against time, as one woman struggles with a small army of USB drives, a Linux distro, and a recalcitrant netbook. Will it ever boot up again?

“All I wanted was to update Flash so I could watch Jon Stewart online! And now I’m trapped in this nightmare!”

In all seriousness, anyone out there know how to install Eeebuntu without involving a shaman or sacrificing a goat? Because I’m out of ideas.*

*Not exactly – I haven’t yet tried to do it from a bootable DVD, largely because I don’t have an external DVD drive. I may go buy one tomorrow and give it a shot.

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Two scenes from the past week

Scene 1: Me at the bank, trying to get the ginormous cheque for the real estate lawyer:

Teller: [frowning at my passport] This signature doesn’t match.

Me: I know, it was issued before I was married.  I don’t have any ID with my married name on it.  I do have my marriage license though.

Teller: Do you have the ID you opened the account with?

Me: The account was opened for me when I was about five years old, so no.


Time passes, in which several supervisors get involved and I produce every piece of ID I’ve ever owned.

Teller: Do you have anything that has your current signature on it?

Me: Do you have any doubt that I am the holder of this account?

Teller: No, but…

Me: So what’s the problem?


I emerge from the lion’s den, carrying a bank draft for the remainder of the down payment, the lawyer’s fee, and my first-born child.  I run into our mortgage person at the door.

Me: That was the most stressful part of the whole home-buying process.

Scene 2: At the drugstore, 9:50 AM this morning.

I arrive at the drugstore with a completed application form for something I’m applying for.  All I need is to print off another headshot, then I’m going to go drop it off.  But the photo counter is closed.

Me: [addressing one of the cashiers] Excuse me, do you know when the photo counter is opening?

Teller: Ten o’clock.

Me: Oh, OK.

I order my single print through the automatic system, then wait.  And wait.

10:05 – I stand at the photo counter, drumming my fingers impatiently.

10:15 – I wander through the store and contemplate buying more allergy pills.

10:20 – I drop one of my gloves.

10:25 – I notice I’ve dropped one of my gloves and search frantically for it.

10:30 – Photo counter woman finally arrives.

Me: Hi, I put in this order a little while ago.

Photo counter woman: I can’t possibly do it right away, I have seven orders in front of you.

Me: Do you know how long it’ll take?

PCW: No, I don’t know.  I can’t do anything about it.

Me: Is it worth me even standing here and waiting?

PCW: I don’t know.

Me: OK, cancel the order then.  I’ll go somewhere else.

Which I did, after retrieving my lost glove from one of the cashiers.  I got the photo printed at another place without incident and dropped off my application.

You know, all I wanted to do in either case was get some vital but incidental thing, put it in a goddamn envelope and hand it to someone else.  I just want to put this envelope in your hand.  Is that too much to ask?

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Let’s make a little list:
– econapocalypse
– construction
– garbage strike
– heat wave
– threatened (but mercifully averted) LCBO strike

I explain why taking peoples’ booze away in this situation is just asking for revolution.  Also, why I’m sort of looking forward to getting old.


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