Signs that you may be dealing with a crackpot

I try to give people, even people with apparently bizarre beliefs, the benefit of the doubt.  Lots of things which are at first glance ridiculous – the success of the Left Behind books comes to mind – turn out to be real or true, after all.

But when you’re talking with someone, there are certain red flags that may indicate that they’re not altogether on the same reality train as the rest of us.

1. Insistence that they’ve discovered a hidden truth no one knows.

2. Vague plans to inform the authorities.

3. They are being stalked or harrassed in subtle ways by the nefarious evil-doers in question.  Such stalking might take the form of property damage that is too minor for others to notice, but that the putative crackpot insists was done.

4. Either no one else or a only select few are aware of the truth.

5. Yet any oppression the nefarious evil-doing group has experienced is because people won’t tolerate their wicked, wicked ways.

6. The evil that the nefarious evil-doers do is all-encompassing and vague in nature, ranging from sex crimes to drug dealing.

7.  The nefarious evil-doers are in some way sub-human.

8. Saying, “Really?  All the [insert name of purported nefarious evil-doing group here] that I’ve met have been really nice,” gets the response, “They’re good at putting on an act.  They’ve been pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes for centuries.”

9. The putative crackpot claims to practice extreme caution in spreading the truth, because the all-powerful nefarious evil-doers will come after him if he goes public.

10. Yet he’s telling total strangers at the pub all about it: in case they DO come after him someone will know why.

And lastly…

11.  General craziness red flags such as nervous laughter at odd times, an unwillingness to engage in different topics, and a moustache.

So, as you might guess, I ran into someone yesterday who displayed all of the above signs and more.  Guess what group of nefarious evil-doers he thought were making small dents on his car, staking out his house, and reading his emails.

No, it wasn’t the Jews.

Seriously, not the Jews.  Not the Illuminati, not the Pope, not the reptoid aliens.

Click through if you want to know who, according to this guy, are just as bad as the Mafia.

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An oddly hopeful image

I spent the afternoon today at the art gallery again. Every time I’m there I see the same man go past the window at about 2:00.

He looks indeterminately elderly but could, I suppose, be anywhere from 50 to 80. He’s always wearing the same red shirt and ballcap with wispy grey hair leaking out. He sits slumped in his wheelchair, squinting into the sun.

Unlike most people in wheelchairs, however, he doesn’t propel it with his hands or use one of those mini-joysticks. I don’t know why – maybe he has MS or Lou Gehrig’s disease or something that makes his arms weak, or maybe he just doesn’t want to use them – but he edges himself along the sidewalk incredibly slowly with awkward motions of his feet.

There’s something horrific about the sight, like watching a mouse die in a trap, but there’s something very hopeful too. In spite of everything – and judging from his general appearance and the fact that he’s hanging around on Queen St. at 2 PM, I’m guessing mental illness as well as physical illness enters into it – he’s got somewhere to go* and by God, he’s going to get there. One painful swipe of the foot at a time.

*Specifically, to his panhandling spot in front of the Magic Thai Restaurant.

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Presented without comment

Conversation between Ben and a random hobo in front of the liquor store:

Hobo: We don’t talk about the killing. [gives Ben a flyer]

Ben: What’s this flyer?

Hobo: You know how people leave garbage on your front of your house?

Ben: Yeah, I guess.

Hobo: Well, it wasn’t my cousin.

The flyer:

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