Friends! Torontonians! Fellow bike-riding pinko latte-sipping weirdos! I have some news.
Did you know that you were a COMMUNIST?
In a refreshing blast from the past, City Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti went on the CBC, claiming everyone who came out to the all-night council meeting on July 29 was a Communist, quite possibly a card-carrying member of the Communist Party.
Because if you care about defending city services? You dirty commie! If you care about the arts or culture? Back to…um…whatever Communist countries are left in the world! (I guess China, though how communist China remains is highly debatable.) If you’re 14 and want to tell the Council how much your local library means to you? I HOPE YOU LIKE IT IN THE GULAG, LITTLE GIRL!
Because if you WEREN’T a Communist, you would have been working! All night! Every night! Only capitalists have jobs! Commies just sit around all day on their fat welfare cheques and annoy hard-working councillors in their noble struggle to turn Toronto into Detroit, only with slightly better weather!
Now I feel scared. Ben was at that meeting. Have I been married to a Communist for almost 6 years and I never knew it? He always told me he voted NDP, but how can I possibly know for sure? What else is he hiding from me????
Anyway. I should feel sorry for this poor fool. He is clearly losing it, badly, in public:
“I don’t want to hear from communists,” he said. “I won’t be calling them communists on the site, but I will be using the word ‘whatever’ to reply to them. If you see that word you can be pretty sure they’re a communist and I’ll be cutting them off of the site.”
In the 1980s, Mr. Mammoliti served as a leader for the Canadian Union of Public Employees. Later, he served as an MPP for the NDP, where he became something of a pariah for opposing same-sex benefits.
“That’s where I learned how communists smell,” he said. “They are the ones who tried to brainwash me then at a younger age. It was 25 years ago. I know how they think and feel and speak. I just don’t have the time for them. Their attempt to brainwash me back then didn’t work then and won’t work now.”
He maintains a broad definition of the term “communist” as “anyone who is able to work, doesn’t want to work and wants everything for free,” he said.
The page he’s talking about is his ill-fated Facebook page Save the City..Support the Ford Administration (double period most decidedly [sic] – it appears to be Mammoliti’s preferred punctuation mark. Ben actually got banned from the page for pointing out that ellipses are not generally used in place of commas), which he set up in order to hear from the “silent majority” of hard-working Torontonians who support our poor excuse for a mayor and his warmed-over right-wing policies.
The use of the term “silent majority” is a dead giveaway: Ford is our Nixon. Have you read Rick Perlstein’s Nixonland? The description of how Nixon appealed to average, not particularly successful white people by making them feel as if they were being victimized by hippies and feminists and the civil rights movement sounds eerily familiar to anyone living in Rob Ford’s Toronto. Just replace “hippies” with “cyclists” and “feminists” with…well, “feminists”, and “civil rights” with “gay pride parade”, and there you go. Mammoliti’s batshit red-baiting is just an extra retro touch.