No, this is not a list of heartwarming pregnancy/baby movies to watch.
I may be pregnant, but I have not turned into Maude Flanders.
This is about how one’s standards change when one is tired all the time and has the hormonal stability of a 14-year-old.
So. Among the things I knew about intellectually going into this but didn’t really grok was that, at least during the 1st trimester, you are tired. All. The. Time. You wake up feeling tired. You feel hungry, but too tired to cook. You feel tired when you’re working, tired when you’re resting, tired when you’re doing chores, tired when you’re having fun, tired when you’re sleeping. (It’s actually been improving for the past two weeks or so – I’m now just “tired” and not “absolutely exhausted”.)
I’m told the fatigue will fade entirely in another week or so and I’ll feel super energetic. Anyway, having less energy than normal, I have been going out much less and thus feeling thankful for Netflix Watch Instantly.
The only problem is…I fall asleep.
I can fall asleep *anywhere* now. I used to be incapable of napping. Not anymore! Honestly, if I sit down in a warm room for more than ten minutes, odds are I will nod off. And since it’s roughly 3 zillion degrees in Toronto right now and I don’t have air conditioning, EVERY room in the house is a warm room.
So in the evenings, when I pick something on Netflix and settle down on the couch with one or two basset hounds on me to watch it, I don’t exactly judge the film the same way I used to.
I mean, my old film standards were not educated or exacting in any way. But now, this is how I judge a film:
– How many times did I fall asleep? (Less than 3: very good! More than 3: Either this movie sucks or Gus is on my legs. Or both.)
– Did I fall asleep during exciting action sequences? (Yes: bad.)
– Did I need to read the plot summary on Wikipedia to fill in the parts I missed when I fell asleep? (Yes: Good but frustrating, since it means the plot was more interesting but entailed more effort for me to get what was going on; No: Well, that was easy, but really; I didn’t think I did but I looked it up anyway and found I’d missed something good: Excellent!; I didn’t think I did but I looked it up anyway and found I needn’t have bothered: Meh.)
So far “Dark City” comes out the worst; I think I fell asleep 5 times, INCLUDING during the climactic action sequence when (*SPOILER ALERT*) Rufus Sewell fights an alien who looks Manservant Hecubus to take control of the “city”. Feeling I’d missed something vital, I did read the Wikipedia summary and found…I hadn’t at all. Also the visual tone was so dark it was actually difficult to see what was going on (at least on a computer monitor) and the love story was very thin and unbelievable.
Best by this system is “American Movie” (which I recommended a few days ago), because I think I only fell asleep once and didn’t miss anything. And there were no giant action sequences to fall asleep to.
Any time you want me to take over your site, Roger Ebert, I’m available.