1 While he doesn’t LIKE them, Gus does not actually eat cats.* Unlike Stephen Harper.
2 Gus is lazy enough to avoid antagonizing foreign leaders, but tough enough to growl at them if they approach his food.
3 He will encourage agriculture, especially animal husbandry.
4 He is a symbol the country could unite around – who doesn’t love cute puppy dogs?
5 He will lead energy conservation efforts by encouraging/insisting that people stay home and do as little as possible.
6 Gus will never, ever involve Canada in a pointless dick-measuring excuse for a war**, unless someone tries to steal his food. Then it’s nuke time.
7 He will decrease healthcare costs by introducing the revolutionary new Hound Therapy. When you feel sick, sad, or just worn out, you go to Gus’ office and spend half an hour just hanging out on the couch with him. Safe, cheap and effective.***
8 Gus won’t promote anti-gay, racial, or religious bigotry, since he loves everyone without qualification.
9 Because this country needs change, and a mildly brain-damaged basset hound/beagle couldn’t POSSIBLY do any worse than we’ve had already.
* Mostly because he can’t catch them.
** He’s been neutered.
*** Obviously this won’t cure your cancer or genital warts, but it does make you feel better in the case of a mild cold or just a bad day, and is certainly more plausible as a therapy than, say, Reiki.