Yes, I had a highly disgusting experience today. DO NOT CLICK on the “Read more” link if you don’t want to throw up in your mouth.
So I was doing the laundry this afternoon. I was also doing several errands, including making a spare key. At the variety store where I got the key cut, I also got a snack – a pop and a box of Reeses’ Pieces.
Back at the laundromat, I was sitting, waiting for my clothes to dry, eating candy. Suddenly I felt a sort of crawling on my shoulder. I looked down and there was a little grub on it. “That’s weird,” I thought, and took it off me. Then I felt another one on my other shoulder. “Hey,” I said to myself, “where the hell are all of these grubs coming from?” Then I looked in the box of Reeses’ Pieces…
…AND IT WAS FULL OF FUCKING GRUBS.
I must have eaten at least a few of them, since they would have had to fall off my hand to get onto my body – though not many, because I’d only had a few bites. It was horrific, not in the least because I really like Reeses’ Pieces and now I can never eat them again. Also because I instantly became convinced that I was crawling with bugs and was only restrained from screaming and ripping my clothes off by the fact that I was in public and people were already looking at me funny. What I actually did, in this order:
– Threw the box of candy from me with a cry of disgust
– Patted myself down frantically, searching for more bugs
– Ran my fingers through my hair, searching for more bugs
– Realized I’d spilled candy and grubs all over the floor; picked up the candy, threw it away, and squished the bugs where they stood
– Waited the five minutes until my clothes were dry, all the time convinced that my bra was full of maggots
– Found a grub on the back of my neck
– Found a grub on my sweater
– Folded everything extremely quickly
– Ran home
– Took a very thorough and hot shower
– Got Ben to check my hair for bugs
– Put the clothes I’d been wearing in hot water and bleach just in case
– Attempted to calm down before my next student arrived
(I should rinse those clothes out sometime soon. They’ve been in the water for about 10 hours now.)
I also realize that I should have gone back to the store and told the shopkeeper that he’d been selling maggot-filled boxes of candy, but I couldn’t face picking the box out of the garbage can.
Anyway, as I said, I will never eat Reeses’ Pieces again, which is a tragedy in itself, and I will most certainly never eat something out of a box without looking at it first. A cousin of mine once bit into a green hamburger (at Disneyworld, no less) and now always sniffs her food before eating.
So say it with me: EWWWWWWWWWW.