The Contest

First, read this. Or watch this:

Post your best explanation in the comments here, or email it to kaythecomplainer@gmail.com.

Contest closes Feb. 13, and the winner will be announced Feb. 14. The prize is 1 (one) dirty postcard, hand-drawn by me. Look at this post if you want to see some examples of my artwork.

Good luck!

Random things I like

In the spirit of good karma, happiness, and rainbows all around, a brief list of things I’ve seen recently on the Internet that I like (yeah, I know I just made another one of these lists on Thursday):

- Facebook Group “Can This Onion Ring get more Fans than Stephen Harper?” is well on its way. Not there yet, but I have high hopes.

- Some hip chemists made synthetic marijuana, and the article about it quotes one Dr. Huffman (seriously), who says: “I’ve come to the conclusion that if an enterprising person wants to find a new way to get high, they’re going to do it.”

- A surprisingly entertaining breakdown of all the horrible things that happen to your body when you’re pregnant. I sent the link to my friend Eleanor (she’s due in May) with an offer to come over with ice and Poise pads.

- Kook fight!

- You know how people who are part of the same online community get to know each other really well in oddly specific ways? And how, over time, they grow to loathe each other? And are constantly bringing up that time when you TOTALLY SAID SOMETHING UNCALLED FOR THAT WAS REALLY RUDE AND MAYBE RACIST back in the Darwin Day Anniversary thread of 2007? Yeah, I hate that too.

(That last one I posted largely because, well, whatever. Getting to truly understand the complicated layers of resentment involved would entail reading old blog posts and comment threads totalling in verbiage something approaching the works of Ayn Rand, Ann Rice, and Edgar Rice Burroughs combined. Even though I like old blog posts, I’m not going there.)

Everything is contaminated

When with our eyes we see
the foundation stones of the world,
the world we are part of, that we invent
and eliminate: we understand
that purity was never part of the plan.

Everything is contaminated.
There is no pure substance, action, thought,
only the mixing in varying degrees
of things already mixing
beyond recognition.

Complaining with Kay, Ep. 44: How *can* a door be out of order?

In this episode:
- There’s a weird kiosk that sells knock-off snuggies and blankets with Hannah Montana on them. No, really.
- A door is a very simple object. It either opens – or it doesn’t.
- There’s some mold growing on it, because IT’S A BATHROOM.
- The part of me that wants to be famous and successful and the part of me that actually wants to make music don’t have much to do with each other.
- You know what? I have no idea what these people want, and I’m just going to sing Caro Nome and, you know, actually enjoy actually making music. What a surprise.
- Nick and Nora: Just like Dashiell Hammet and Lillian Helman, except a comedy.

Me and Ben play Somewhere There (Leftover Daylight series) this Friday, Feb. 12.

44

Holy sh*t.

I just put a second coat of sealant (basically a dilute acrylic-based glue) on the exposed brick wall in the bathroom. Looking around, I thought, “Hmm, there’s still a lot to do to this room.” So I made a list on what needs to be done. And I kept going…

…and holy mother of Christ, there’s a lot to do on this house.

Fortunately I think we can do most of the big stuff over the summer. (The bathroom and smaller stuff upstairs can probably be done over weekends and March break.) But when you find yourself writing things like “Rip out old kitchen cabinets/work area, replace with Rob and Reta’s old kitchen, repair hole behind sink cabinet, replace fluorescent light fixture, replace floor covering, build baffle for furnace, paint, build smaller fridge into wall” and that’s JUST ONE ROOM you start to freak out a little.

At least the sealant stuff worked. It goes on with a faint electric blue tinge but dries perfectly clear. Let’s hope it discourages the mold from coming back.

New on Plan C + something I whole-heartedly and unreservedly like

I have an audition this afternoon so will be brief.

New on Plan C, my musings about being (musically speaking) a small proto-mammal instead of a T-Rex.

And something I didn’t write. I’m a big fan of David Neiwert’s writing, a journalist/blogger/author who covers mainly the American far right and the militia movement. Some time ago on his personal blog Orcinus, Neiwert did a series thoroughly eviscerating Jonah Goldberg’s bizarre and irresponsible excuse for a book, Liberal Fascism. Well, Jonah Goldberg is back in the news cycle, due to Glenn Beck’s latest documentary about how Obama is the bogeyman who will send you not just to the gas chamber but to Siberia, because he’s a liberal-fascist-commie-hippie-baby murderer. Or something.

(Re-reading that sentence, it occurs to me that it doesn’t actually explain why that would bring Goldberg’s book back to the public eye. Apparently Liberal Fascism is Beck’s inspiration, manual, and bible rolled into one, and Goldberg has been a frequent guest on Beck’s show. I hope that’s clearer.)

So Neiwert organized a symposium on the History News Network, where actual scholars* of fascism and the radical right ALSO eviscerate Liberal Fascism. It’s a fantastic read if you’re a nerd and enjoy some good scholarly ass-whipping. Start here and read in order.

* Except for Michael Ledeen – I don’t think he counts as a scholar, being mostly a journalist/polemicist these days. Poor Michael Ledeen. WTF is HE doing on this list? His article reads to me like he’s reluctantly defending a friend who’s done something unbelievably embarrassing.

John Yoo gets off

Hey, you remember that album we made last year? The Torture Memos? Based on the naked display of evil that bears the same name?

Well, when the Torture Memos came to light last spring, the Department of Justice started an investigation into whether or not the authors (John Yoo and Jay Bybee) had violated professional ethics in writing the memos in question. (If I had been in charge of writing it, it would have been done long ago, and would have consisted of one word: DUH.) Apparently the original report made similar conclusions to mine, though probably in more flowery and lawyerly language. But according to Newsweek:

Previously, the report concluded that two key authors–Jay Bybee, now a federal appellate court judge, and John Yoo, now a law professor–violated their professional obligations as lawyers when they crafted a crucial 2002 memo approving the use of harsh tactics, say two Justice sources who asked for anonymity discussing an internal matter. But the reviewer, career veteran David Margolis, downgraded that assessment to say they showed “poor judgment,” say the sources. (Under department rules, poor judgment does not constitute professional misconduct.) The shift is significant: the original finding would have triggered a referral to state bar associations for potential disciplinary action–which, in Bybee’s case, could have led to an impeachment inquiry.

So a verbal slap on the wrist, no consequences, no impeachment, nothing.

And this is in a country that might imprison you for 10 years if they catch you with a couple of funny cigarettes. Some priorities.

via Ed Brayton, Newsweek

Complaining with Kay, Episode 43: Kay saves Hollywood + Grumpy old composers + Conspiracy theorists.

In this episode:

- Just believing in a conspiracy doesn’t make you a jackass. It makes you WRONG, maybe in need of doing some more research, but not an asshole.
- I translated all his emails into LOLspeak.
- This was one of the worst pieces of music I’ve heard in a long time. And I LIKE R. Murray Schafer.
- They have for some reason decided that R. Murray Schafer is bankable.
- The orchestra is like a top predator, like the T-Rex of the musical ecosystem. And we’re like the small proto-mammals that can survive after the comet hits.
- Here’s an idea: STOP PAYING TOM CRUISE SO GODDAMN MUCH.

43

OM NOM NOM!

I just made these:

and have been lying on the couch watching old movies on Youtube, drinking dark beer, and eating them. Excellent, though I still have a sink full of dishes to do.

Keeping in the cookie/Youtube mode, in case you haven’t seen this…well, you should.

Marilyn Horne sings \"C is for Cookie\"

I get email…

…from douchebags.

If you happened to watch the video I made on Saturday (“Going Prorogue“), you will remember that at the end I talked for about 10 seconds about the 9/11 Truther who ran in front and tried to lead the parade and generally behaved like a jackass. It was not a major part of the video, but then it never is, is it? And by “it” I mean the thing that attracts douchebaggy emails like a basset hound to a dead squirrel.

It turns out that the jackass in question has a Youtube account and watched my video! I know, it’s always strange to find out that someone is actually listening. And being a jackass – I use the term advisedly – he got in touch.

In the interests of his privacy I won’t reveal his name or quote his actual emails. Instead I will refer to him throughout as Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead, and I will paraphrase his messages. My own appear more or less as I sent them.

From: Mr SuperCreepyDickhead
To: kristinmh1 (Youtube)
Jan 26, 11 AM

O HAI UR FUNNY I HAZ UTUBE CHANNL TOO THX FUR CALLN ME JACKASS WHATEVS U THINK NAU* IS CONSPIRACY THEERY TOO? LOL**

From: kristinmh1
To: Mr SuperCreepy Dickhead
Jan 26, 12 PM

Dear SuperCreepyDickhead,

I called you a jackass because that’s how you were behaving, like a complete attention-whoring jackass. I’m sure you’re a very nice person in real life, not that I’ll ever get a chance to test that hypothesis.

I’m not sure what flavour of 9/11 Truther you are – I realize there are many strands of conspiracy involved – but most 9/11 Truth claims have been debunked at one time or another. Popular Mechanics did a really good breakdown here:

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/military_law/1227842.html?page=4

It’s a bit old, though, so it might not cover everything.

Please feel free to continue to subscribe to my channel and watch whatever you like – I don’t think my other videos will interest you much, they’re just my occasional vodcasts and videos of my dogs – but I’d prefer it if you didn’t write me again.

Sincerely,

Kristin Mueller-Heaslip

From: Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead
To: kristinmh1
Jan 26, 6 PM

LMAO***

From: kristinmh1
To: Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead
Jan 26, 10 PM

I’m glad at least one of us enjoyed this interaction.

From: Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead’s email address
To: Official Complaining with Kay email address
Jan 27, 10 AM

O HAI UR SO NICE CALLN ME NAMEZ I CAN HAS FREEDUM OF SPEECH? JUST LIEK U? U CAN GO 2 PROTEST ME CANNUT? [reference to 90's song] [link to his youtube channel] [link to Infowars] UR SHEEPLE

From: Official Complaining with Kay email address
To: Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead’s email address
Jan 26, 12 PM

SuperCreepyDickhead,

I asked you once politely not to contact me again. Please respect my request.

From: Mr. SuperCreepyDickhead
To: kristinmh1
Jan 27, 4 PM

LOL! THIS IS FUN! CREEPY SEXUAL INNUENDO! REALLY CREEPY SEXUAL INNUENDO! I NO WHAR U LIVE!
[link to attention-whoring conspiracy theory video]

Now to be perfectly clear I don’t think that subscribing to a 9/11 conspiracy theory makes you a jackass. I think it makes you wrong, but not a jackass. Lots of nice and otherwise intelligent people get sucked into believing very weird things, and I’m sure I’m guilty of some unexamined bit of wingnuttery myself.

No, a conspiracy belief alone is not enough to make you a jackass. Trying to hijack a protest, then repeatedly contacting (in super creepy ways) someone who’s asked you to leave them alone – this makes you a jackass.

Think I’ll start training Gus to be a watchdog.

*I’m guessing he’s referring to the North American Union, but who really knows.
**Though it would have been awesome if he had, SuperCreepyDickhead did not actually write entirely in LOLspeak. Too bad.
***This message is, unfortunately, transcribed verbatim.